Job jokes

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Why did the dwarf get a job at lidl? Because every lidl heps

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I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

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A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery

Boss: “we have to let you go.”

Surgeon: “I protest innocence.”

Boss: “how?”

Surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things. ”

Boss: “get out”

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I just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care

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What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin’ B. Anthony!

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So i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was htm title=' the my wife got hit bye a car'>all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

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Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

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I went to my sister room one day. I see a trophy, so I ask my sister how did you won this trophy my sister said to me the neighbors gave it to me because I gave out the best hand jobs in the neighbor. I guess my sister put her hands in good use.

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I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

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I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!

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John: hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming

Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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What’s the difference between your job and a dead hooker? your job still sucks

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